collecting leaves

2012-01-03T20:32:00.004+11:00

comiendo el coco*

my last post may have left you with the impression that things are a little bleak over here. well, not necessarily. i tend to become hyper focused on the negative and forget that, hey, there is more to any given situation than meets the eye. never judge a book by its cover because, what appears at first glance to be, well, less than optimal, could turn out to be a real page turner in the end.

but i'm a worrier and just before christmas i found myself tangled up in knots over something which i had no control. i've always been this way. it's something i'm trying to change and with a little luck will make slow (or fast) progress with this year.

now having said that, let me get to the good stuff. we had a lovely christmas and new year. it was hot and bright, sparkly and full of light. it was surreal and beautiful. i couldn't have asked for or imagined a more special time with my 3 boys. i look back on it now and smile as tears fill my eyes, the memories so sweet. i feel lucky and blessed, waves of stillness and gratitude gently washing over me. i feel full and happy.

it's been hot here since just before christmas. christmas eve day was a scorcher and found us panting in our shorts and tank tops, throwing open all the windows. below is the christmas eve butterfly that flew in one of those open windows. the boys and i were mesmerized, as it fluttered here and there landing briefly on the hearth, then a chair. it was a moment of clear and direct communication between me and the Universe. there were no misinterpretations. we eventually caught and released it back into the garden. absolutely splendid!

a few days after christmas we met up with a dear friend who andrew and i met while living in japan, but whom we haven't seen for years. it was lovely reconnecting with her, sitting together and laughing once again. the ebb and flow of life is such a marvel, isn't it. how it carries us along from one place to another and back around again. some things stay the same, only a little different. i like that.

the waterwall at the National Gallery of Victoria

Federation Square

new year's eve was quiet, a family affair. there was dinner and dessert (a group effort) here at home with my boys and then family movie night. that's it. it was more than enough.

now we spend our days in the heat, watching the garden grow...and some days wither under the bright, hot sun. the small tuber given to me by a friend back in the dead of winter is now exploding into brilliant red orange dahlias. i ask you, how could i not fall in love with that? we are tending the veg patch, picking green beans, rocket, tomatoes, herbs, applauding the arrival of the first cosmos...

water gun wars between j & e

...and of course trying our best to stay cool. super soakers to the rescue!

happy new year to you. i hope it brings you peace, good health, happiness and above all lots and lots of love.

*comiendo el coco means racking one's brain, obsessing over or brooding upon something and is a phrase my spanish friends used to say to me all the time, "there you go again, comiendo el coco," whilst shaking their head in disapproval. "brooding upon"or "obsessing over" things isn't really something the spanish do and in general is frowned upon, unless alcohol and dancing are involved;) apparently i didn't spend enough time in spain.

2011-12-22T18:02:00.004+11:00

summer high

with insects a buzzin' and sleigh bells a ringin' i'd say christmas is near

and now we begin the descent

happy solstice

2011-12-19T22:09:00.008+11:00

"o come all ye..."

we finally did it. one week before christmas and we finally got the decorations up. in a hurry and a flurry the boys and i suddenly got inspired and we just did it.

a couple of times during the hustle and the bustle of frantic inspiration i heard j say, with great emotion in his voice," i have a feeling it's going to be a great christmas!" now, i'll let you in on a little secret about my beautiful boys, they NEVER lack enthusiasm. EVER! they carry it with them into everything they do, everywhere they go. indefatigable it is! and not only is it one of the things i absolutely adore about them, but i'm also trying to let myself get caught up in it more and more. it is a lovely thing to be enthusiastic like a child, don't you think. nothing compares to it.

a wee christmas village by e

for various reasons we've decided to not have a tree this year. in some ways i feel like we're somehow cheating the boys by not having one, but on the other hand it's not what's most important. atleast not for me. yes, the tradition of a tree is lovely, but the time we spent together before bed and bath creating these few holiday scenes and then afterward when we sat together on the sofa, them in their pj's with a cup of warm rice milk with honey and cinnamon and me reading our selection of christmas books while taking in and admiring our meager but festive decorations, that is what truly fills me up with the Spirit of christmas. as most of you mothers out there know, that is what fills the maternal heart to burstin' with so much love and joy, the slow, happy moments together, connecting. and i wasn't the only one being "filled up". as i read, with j on one side and e on the other, i felt the boys move in closer and closer until they were snuggled down deep into me each one resting a hand on my arm. we were sated.

reindeer, doe and fawn. fawn nibbling grass "peeking" up from the snow

the reindeer scene above was a collaborative effort by j and e. they had fun imagining the two deer alone in a wood, perhaps a bit hungry as it's winter, and then suddenly finding a few small spikes of grass in a clearing(a piece of green felt courtesy of j). of course the doe let her fawn have first nibbles, as any mother would. this little scene, i suppose, is our "tree" because we've decided that here is where the presents will rest while waiting to be devoured christmas morning, in a quiet, snowy wood with two reindeer, a doe and her fawn, standing watch. very fitting. and i find it all very comforting

lights and ornaments strung across the hearth

if i seem a bit hesitant about joining in the christmas festivities this year, well, i suppose it's because i am. i still haven't gotten used to the summery christmas yet. i know, i know. boohoo!sob!wail!sniffsniff! get over it, right. we've been here 2 1/2 years! i should be over it, used to it, and willing to accept it. i'm afraid that's just not the case. you can take the girl out of the northern hemisphere, but...you'll have to do it with her kicking and screaming all the while:)

there is also the horrible economy that's putting quite a damper on things this year. for several weeks i've been hearing the same story from so many people. they fret, worry, lament and hem and haw because they can't afford to get their kids as many presents as last year. what will they do? i told myself i wouldn't be like that. i reassured myself that it's not quantity, but quality that matters and that we try to give our children a quality life. we play together, cook together, laugh, run, hike, draw, read, imagine, create....but here i am, making the list and checking it twice. is it a quality life? will they be disappointed christmas morning when they wake to find the doe and her fawn standing watch over their meager scene?

it's not winter here, but it's bare, sparse. simple yet beautiful, like a quiet, snowy wood.

2011-12-10T15:55:00.006+11:00

several weeks worth

for two, three, maybe even 4 weeks now this is how the world around us has looked, a total blur, a flurry of hurried activity. it was a beautiful, fun whirlwind to get caught up in and carried away on, but now we are exhausted. inspite of that, we are finding it really challenging to let go and come down from that adrenaline rush. j in particular as he really loves the thrill and excitement of performing. i never imaged he would feel so comfortable being on stage in front of an audience under hot, bright lights (it would terrify and annoy me!), but after that first ballet performance back in august, he was hooked!

"circus" as performed by the Utassy Ballet School

a last minute pep talk from the teacher

(j is one of the shaggy lions)

interspersed between ballet rehearsals and performances, karate practice, a karate tournament and grading which only just finished today!, and a fantastic excursion with a local entomologist, was lots of quality time spent at home. we three are falling in love with japan again and the boys are busy fashioning ninja/samurai outfits and weaponry all because of these wonderful books. the boys have discovered the joys of making their own comic/manga "stories" and as a result are reading and writing more everyday. if i ever had any doubts in the past that unschooling couldn't/wouldn't work, they have all been laid to rest. amidst the rushrush and chaos of the past few weeks, i've watched my boys grow and expand in so many ways on so many levels. i've witnessed first hand what i've read in so much unschooling literature in the past, when you are pursuing what you love, when you are passionate about what you are doing, learning happens, spontaneously. plus, they are happy and that really means something.

cleaning his snailery and putting in fresh "vittles"

at any given time j has several terrariums "up and running" and at one point he had an aquarium with freshwater invertebrates. currently he's got a terrarium filled with snails and slugs. his love for these slimy little critters began when he was a wee toddler. the other day he found two masses of eggs glued to the side of the jar. we are looking forward to having baby slugs and/or snails sliming around the terrarium soon. he's counting the days. seriously, he's ticking them off the calender.

in another terrarium he's got several earthworms and a bush cockroach that he found on the excursion i mentioned above. he couldn't believe his luck when he found it and began showing it to everyone. as it lives in the bush, you would never find it around humans. it eats only rotting bush plants on the forest floor, so he's very careful to find only choice bits of native plants from the small creeklet behind our house. as it's nocturnal, j will often check in on it in the middle of the night. i love hearing his stories the next morning, "you won't believe what he was up to last night, mama....." wanna bet? :)

chopping celery tops for the slugs and snails

and that pretty much brings us to today, a dirty house from weeks of neglect, a garden full of weeds, and i still haven't given any thought to holiday gift giving. wish me luck!

2011-11-16T21:21:00.003+11:00

geranium

a quick photographic study

just because it inspired me, the way it and the intense mid day sunlight flirted with one another. it was too good.

i was sitting on the sofa with a somewhat sickly boy, urging him to take just one more drink of that horribly bitter unsweetened cranberry juice that is oh so good for him right now, when during a heavy sigh of a moment, i happened to look out the large living room window to find this lovely vision.

light, color, sun, wind, it all came together so gracefully. with an "excuse me, lads, i'll be right back" i grabbed the camera, rushed out the door and got reacquainted with old friends.

i believe it was mr cummings who said "the earth laughs in flowers". i think he was on to something.

2011-11-08T16:19:00.005+11:00

yesterday

i was inspired to go to this place by my friend T and her girls who are also homeschoolers. she wrote about a recent trip they took here on her blog a few days ago. we've been looking for a closer place to do a little rockpooling for a while now because, although we love sorrento (our usual spot), it is a long drive for two little boys who tire very easily of car travel.

at home/at peace

the boys set about immediately doing what they love to do. after doing his "ocean dance", e began running, frolicking, jumping, splashing...he's a very physical little boy and is always pushing and challenging himself with all sorts of daring and "death defying" feats.

j, well, he began seeking, exploring, discovering...he was so happy. we made it home yesterday evening feeling incredibly exhausted, but really happy and fulfilled. it was a great day!

j found this little shore crab under a large stone in one of the tidal pools

this morning when we woke up the boys and i piled into one bed, got out the field guide and began naming and discussing everything we saw yesterday. j is particularly fond of the waratah anemone (photo below) and so it was one of the top items on his "to find" list. it's one of the most common intertidal anemones so he found it almost right away. he says he likes it so much because it gives birth to well developed young. he found several waratah anemone "children" yesterday as well. as i lay there listening to him talk happily about his time spent with these little creatures i began to feel that somewhere in there is a may gibbsesque story about the little waratah anemone children and their daily (limited) comings and goings in the tidalpools all along the victorian coastline. a collaboration of course, between j and i :)

waratah anemone, named after the flowering waratah because of similarity in color

this little guy below is a plague soldier beetle. there were heaps up and down the shoreline. it feeds on the little soft bodied amphipods that shelter themselves in the rotting kelp and other organic debris that washes up on the shore. both the beetles and amphipods (along with the hoards of flies) share in the "cleaning up" duties. they process all the dead stuff and then return the nutrients to the water.

plague soldier beetle

in between the seeking, splashing, running, oooh-ing & aaaah-ing, there was lots of fun and laughter. it was a ripper of a day ;) i love so much being with my boys.

e, moving mountains...as he does

2011-11-06T00:20:00.002+11:00

the nest

this boy of mine is growing up way too fast. go slowly, my dear, slowly.

boy/nest

2011-11-02T09:52:00.002+11:00

some days inspiration comes...

in the form of a slow, but brief walk around the garden. at first glance it all seems a tangled, weedy mess, but once i got down on the ground and shimmied around on my belly a while i noticed infinite little beauties all around me. great appreciation goes out to them.

the wee poppies i got from a permie friend way back in the dead of winter are "poppy-ing up" everywhere right now. i've never seen them so small and papery delicate. they are spectacular.

nasturtiums red and yellow, forget-me-nots, coriander, kale and nettles all vying for attention in this one little spot at the corner of the house. they made me laugh. those flamboyant reds seemingly stole the show with their color and nose prickling, wasabi like flavor, but the more subdued yellow 'sturtiums caught my attention with their delicate sweetness and i could not tear myself away. i love them immensely. they possess a magic words simply cannot describe.

see that hint of lavender behind the stinging nettle that is beginning to flower? cheeky lavender! the nettle invited me to take a few leaves for our soup last night. i did. it was stellar. i love the subtle earthy green taste of nettles and what a boost it always gives to the body (and heart and soul). the grounding affect it has on me is instant.

when clover met the nasturtiums, they were instant friends.

yesterday was busy nursing a little one with a sore throat and slight fever along with all the other stuff that happens during any given day. at times he could not be comforted. not necessarily because of pain but because he felt bored, trapped, but the day was cool, breezy and wet and in my opinion not terribly friendly to a little one with a fever. i tried story time with mr Dahl (something about a giant peach, i think), drawing/art time, tom and jerry time, power rangers, more reading, he would have none of it. he just needed to be grumpy i guess. so i let him.

i gave him a kiss on the cheek, grabbed my camera and quietly slipped out the front door. two minutes of bliss and communing with our front lawn made a world of difference. nature really does heal, ground, lend us salvation in some form or another.

when i returned to his side only a few short minutes later he was lying on the sofa with eyes closed. i thought he was napping. a slow smile suddenly began to appear on his face and then his eyes popped open. he giggled because he had tricked me. he loves tricking me!

in giving each other those few short minutes to just BE ( authentically grumpy, bored, tired, frustrated....) we opened up a space for magic to happen and we were both transformed. from then on we played quietly together until his brother and father returned home from a play date. he was more at ease with feeling ill and at peace with himself and his body for needing the rest.

and me getting flat out and belly down on the wet, weedy grass enabled me to see and appreciate all the little beauties (human and floral) dotting the landscape of my life.

2011-10-30T19:31:00.005+11:00

a day out

we've been homebound alot lately. our days have been long and lazy and as we've entered midspring, full of light and warmth. a few days ago, however, we decided to visit our local nature sanctuary. it was a good choice. the boys led and i followed with camera in hand.

the first order of business was turning over several logs, you know, just to see what was there. we found spiders, flatworms, earthworms, skinks, slugs, snails, wood lice, centipedes and heaps more that i've surely forgotten. i mostly watched quietly while they discussed what they saw, but every now and then answered a question or two...or proposed a question or two or three or four. i love the socratic method of "teaching". it's unobtrusive and very unschooly, in my opinion :)

hitting the invertebrate jackpot!

we still can't figure out what these little creatures are above. j thinks they might be pseudo scorpions, but we can't find them in any of our nature guides. so perhaps i'll go with that. pseudo scorpions they are! and below a small skink j found and caught. it was a great day for reptiles. there were all manner of lizards and skinks great and small running to and fro. j is certain this one below is a juvenile blue tongued skink. it does look suspiciously like one, but with juveniles it's hard to tell sometimes.

i don't think it really matters anyway if he's right or wrong in the naming of this and that. he's imagining. he's wondering and wandering, hypothesizing, planting seeds for a future harvest.

this is quite possibly the largest leopard slug we have seen to date. it's really hard to identify because of the coloring, but see that small hole in it's side? that's where it breathes from. that's also the spot where reproduction happens. i won't go into detail, but j ALWAYS does. he finds mating rituals fascinating and often compares those of one species to those of another.

even though e loves exploring with this big brother and learning from and with j, mostly he just likes to run, jump and frolic over stones, logs, hills...whatever. anything to challenge him physically and give him a bit of an adrenaline rush.

on this particular day we also saw a sacred kingfisher catch and eat a large snail, a wee feather from this little lovely, and a pied cormorant diving under water, hunting for its lunch. what a day!

2011-10-22T14:30:00.003+11:00

still learning after all these years

some days it's easy to forget to breathe. impatience & frustration have more often than not been my guides these past few weeks. it truly is the small wonders, little mysteries and "accidental" joys that bring one back to the present, reminding us to breathe, smile and take that baby step forward into the next moment, delivering us back to ourselves, the true self.

"fear is the cheapest room in the house.

i would like to see you living

in better conditions..."

~Hafiz~

small wonders

little mysteries

accidental joys

2011-10-19T22:40:00.008+11:00

the light at the end

"mama, is it the summer solstice yet? coz it's been a really long day." says j. i smiled, looked at the clock in our bedroom and said, "it's going on 1:30. and no it isn't the summer solstice yet, but the days are considerably longer." he was right though. it felt like the day would never end. i've been nursing a very painful sore throat the past few days, but because we've had the most phenomenal weather this week i've spent every moment outside in the garden ignoring the pain in my throat and head and even at times bumbling around in a feverish stupor. not smart or healthy, i know this, but you don't understand. it's been perfect. we don't get many days like this in melbourne. i had to persevere.

today though i lost my mojo. with absolutely not an ounce of energy, i had no choice but to engage the boys inside on the sofa with lots of laughs from these books. seriously, i'm not so sure ricky gervais should be writing children's books:) what a sick man he is! did i mention i'm a huge fan.

there was an attempt at a harry potter movie marathon, but we gave up half way through the chamber of secrets. we just weren't into it today. so we decided instead to have a drawing marathon. we borrowed several drawing books the other day from the library this one, this one, this one and this one just for me(because i really want to learn!). but you know the reality was this, it was another glorious day out and so sore throat, fever & delirium be damned! we traipsed outside to greet the sunshine and dry heat which scorched my esophagus and nostrils and made me wince with pain with every breath and swallow. ok ok, it wasn't quite that bad, but close.

and so the best part of the day for everyone (even me) was when we decided to make our own bows and arrows. we've been meaning to do this forever, but for some reason never have. so before we lost momentum i ran inside and got the hemp twine and a pair of scissors while the boys searched the garden for sticks for the bows, flexible but strong i told them. it really was as easy as cutting a length of twine and tying it to both ends of the stick to make the bow, it needs to be taut (they learned atleast one new word today) you know. we found lightweight sticks for arrows at our leisure just lying around the garden. after going over a few safety rules and a (very) basic archery lesson, they got started. it was easy peasy i tell you and the boys LOVED them. e, who is 6, had to spend a bit of time getting finger and hand/eye coordination down, but once he did he was unstoppable.

j aiming at a branch in the oak tree

e getting it just right

after andrew came home i was able to settle down a bit and relax while he spent a little time with the boys in the back garden. i noticed how lovely the light was as the sun began setting. i couldn't resist. twilight, my favorite light. it beckoned. i breathed, still wincing, but the day was done and it was a good one.

mizuna twilight

coriander twilight

never forget me twilight

2011-10-17T21:36:00.004+11:00

beauty and sorrow

today was a flurry of spring cleaning and it was perfectly timed with beautiful, sunny, spring weather. the house needed that cleaning and we needed the purge. our days have been tinged with sadness and disbelief around here so putting things in order felt right, soothing. you know what they say, "this too shall pass." i don't know who said it, if i think hard enough i'd certainly remember, but that has surely been my experience. but still.....there is the shock of the here and the now to muddle through.

i believe this one is snugglepot.

can you fathom your own beauty?

bottlebrush & bee

bark

i've been making my own soil. i had no idea how much it would enrich my soul. yesterday i dug my hands into it for the first time. exquisite. i mixed the manure into the compost and then added blood & bone. i churned it over and over with my hands until my body ached, my fingers almost numb. sometimes we have to do things we don't understand. we have to go places, say things, act in ways that others cannot comprehend, but "this too shall pass".

2011-10-14T18:14:00.004+11:00

a few more

...photos from our bushwalk the other day. it really was that good.

yes, more chocolate lilies

lobelia

peering through the grass at tadpole dam

australian buttercups in background

we can't get back to this place soon enough! oh! and guess what? it finally came through. i'm officially a permanent resident of Oz. i suppose citizenship is next on the list.

2011-10-13T15:20:00.003+11:00

arugula flowers

a photographic study

yes, i know, two photos does not a photographic study make, but i've been watching these subtle little beauties for months. i planted rocket in both the front and back gardens last fall just because i love it. because it's basically everywhere i can see it where ever i am in the house. when i'm in the kitchen, dining area or living room, i often find myself gazing at them. not because they are splendidly colored and showy, but because they are constant, subtle and comforting. the soft, creamy, veined, pale yellow petals are a lovely contrast with the earthy reds.

it's a hearty plant withstanding the cold, wet winters here and adding just the right amount of pepperyness to life.

arugula flowers (in macro) bending with the wind

2011-10-12T18:22:00.006+11:00

untitled

it seems as though we've wobbled back into winter again. cold. windy. wet. oh well! that's spring for ya. we did manage to explore a new-to-us nature reserve.

it was lovely and refreshing and we found all manner of flora and fauna. i was on the lookout for wildflowers, j for rep(tiles)s, e for bandits and andrew was busy keeping track of us 3, which is not an easy task really.

australian buttercups & canna lilies

a thinking moment

long pink bells

we were only able to see a small portion of the reserve so i know we'll be back very soon to explore just a bit more. what's great about this place is that it's really close, but it has lots of stuff we don't normally see at our usual tract of bushland. we're really looking forward to exploring the rest of it.

2011-10-08T13:38:00.003+11:00

wild flowers

burchardia umbellata

milkmaids, popoto (aboriginal name)

~your thousand limbs~
your thousand limbs rend my body.
this is the way to die:
beauty keeps laying
its sharp knife
against
me.
-Hafiz

2011-10-07T21:02:00.002+11:00

and then...

a solitary walk just before a slow, gentle spring thunderstorm

i needed a breather

that's just what i got

2011-10-06T00:02:00.002+11:00

wild flowers

taken a few days ago while out on a nature walk with j

almost flowering

dianella revoluta; black anther flax lily

from Diana the roman goddess of the hunt, proctectress of forests and woodlands

spectacularly in bloom

anthropodium strictum; chocolate lily

2011-10-04T21:58:00.004+11:00

earthschooling

yesterday j and i set off again for another nature walk. e decided to stay home with papa. he had his own list of things to do and they didn't include trekking around the nature sanctuary with us. so andrew stayed home with him and helped him do what he needed to do. i believe the list went something like this, riding the new birthday bike for a bit, playing kickity kick (a game he invented that includes a soccer ball, a hula hoop and two players, one for offense and the other for defence. the aim is to dribble the ball (feet only--no hands) around the defence and get the ball inside the hula hoop), practicing his sword fighting skills and perhaps a bit of wrestling. he is a very physical little boy and activities like these are absolutely vital for him and learning about who he is. sitting still is rarely ever on his agenda.

j, on the other hand, is so very different to his little brother. although he's just as energetic as e, he moves at a much slower pace. he doesn't like fast, aggressive, loud play. so, slowly we went on our walk yesterday. we saw so many wonderful sights. the wildflowers are just beginning to wake up and peek out at the world. the bush was literally abuzz with excitement. the drone of bees in the treetops was our constant company as we walked the pathways of the park. it was so relaxing j and i both fell easily under its spell, dreaming of green, bathed in warmth.

lenkunya munda or pretty flatworm

j spends alot of time looking under stones and logs so he finds lots of invertebrates, mostly worms, slugs and snails, of all kinds. as a result he's learned on his own the different varieties that live here in our immediate area. of course we often use the library as a resource and borrow heaps of field guides to help us learn what's what, but not until he's satisfied that he's found a good assortment of what's out there. he almost always has a small hand held magnifying glass with him so that he can make a thorough investigation. yesterday he told me that this little guy above has a small cluster of eyes on the side of his head, as do all flatworms. and just today in the garden he came to me and explained how earthworms reproduce. i sort of had a vague sense anyway, but he clarified everything with graphic details.

here he found a small termite colony in a rotting tree stump while i was busy photographing tasman flax lilies for the umpteenth time that afternoon. he broke off a small bit of wood from the stump and began investigating. when he was satisfied he put the wood along with the termites next to the stump so that they would find their way back to the colony.

beautiful, abandoned

there is no shortage of spiders around these parts, but we couldn't find the owner of this lovely home. but oh the light hitting those lines! those angles! we were mesmerized. i couldn't take my lens off them.

tension

playing with silk, he's always amazed at how strong, yet flexible it is.

lychas marmoreus or little marbled scorpion

he said this little guy was by far the best find of the day. i think i have to agree. it was under the last log we over turned. j was so excited as it's the first one he's seen here "in the wild".

i'm sure there are lots of parents/people out there who might disagree with me letting j turn over stones and logs etc in search of these creatures, but it's who he is. it's what he has to do. we've talked about why it's important to put things back the way we found them. he understands that and i always help him put everything back just so. we also talk about respecting these beings and their right to exist. he understands that as well. it's pure investigation on his part.

he also understands on a very deep level that all of nature has so much to give and teach us. everything has a story which is he is so keen to hear.

at the end of the day i have to wonder, would either of my boys be happy in a classroom? would they thrive in that environment the way they do on a nature walk or during an intense game of kickity kick? i have to wonder.

2011-10-03T21:26:00.003+11:00

unschooling

a month or so ago the littlest 'un' became interested in blacksmithing and metallurgy. just out of the blue one day he started talking about it and has been asking a steady stream of questions ever since. i like that about him...about both of my children. they don't stop seeking the answers to their questions until they are completely satisfied.

twice we've gone to heritage festivals where we've watched wood turners and metalworkers, spinners and weavers work wonderful magic with their hands, endeavors that captivated my little active learners. if adults are encouraged to learn this way, by doing, experiencing and experimenting, why not children as well? i know there are great schools out there, but i simply cannot imagine either of my children happy, fulfilled learners while surrounded by 4 walls all day. regardless of how great the school is, school is still school.

these interests have also led us to the australian goldrush that took place here in victoria, the state we live in. and this weekend at this festival an old flame was rekindled and both boys are revisiting their love and admiration for body armour and weaponry, swords, shields, spears, axes...you name it.

watching the blacksmith

the beginnings of a horseshoe

he was the shy, quiet type

the workshop

goodness! what an incredible journey this homeschooling path has taken us on! i wouldn't trade it for anything.

2011-09-30T17:18:00.003+10:00

oh so grown up!

him blowing out the candles on his birthday cake. in his pj's no less. it was a low key kinda celebration which is just our speed. as i said in the previous post there was pizza & an afternoon at the pool and a little birthday bike riding sans training wheels. he's still getting the hang of it, but we're in no hurry.

oh dear! looking at these photos makes my heart swell with maternal pride and joy. and remembering the past 6 years (and nine months) with my sweet little guy, well, i am one lucky mama. he is a gift.

big brother has a new once or twice weekly ritual. we get a free local newspaper delivered to our house every friday. he's usually the first one to pick it up, peruse it's pages, read a bit here and there and then toss it aside pages askew, amiss, torn asunder. once or twice i've thought to ask, "anything good?", but then i think better of it and let him have that quiet time for himself. sometimes i have to fight hard against the pesky mother syndrome.

it's friday night, the weather is terrible out. it's cold, wet and windy. but there's dal simmering on the stove top along with a big pot o' rice. j made pink icing earlier (just cause he felt like it) and e decided, well, if you've got pink icing you gotta have chocolate cake so off he went to do that. and so there you have it. our night in a nutshell. a little sweet a little spice alotta warmth. it's all good.

2011-09-25T11:08:00.002+10:00

the kneading

yesterday he and i made spelt rolls. this is his favorite bit. the pushing, pulling, stretching, pounding, smashing and the sound effects he adds are quite spectacular.

today is his birthday. the 6th one so far. we're making pizza for lunch (more pushing, pulling, etc....for him), then off to the pool for the afternoon and later home for cake and perhaps even a ride on his new birthday bike.

he's so bright and beautiful and today he's also 6!

2011-09-24T12:43:00.001+10:00

the shine between moments

2011-09-21T17:35:00.002+10:00

sukoshi zutsu

little by little. every day upon waking i look outside and see that there is at least one more calendula flower that's opened. i love the burst of orange it unleashes on the world. shazaaaam!!

i wasn't able to collect many, two handfuls to be exact which worked out to about 8 flower heads, but that coupled with a few sprigs of chocolate mint made it into the dehydrator and after about 4 hours i had a dried concoction of calendula and mint. both are powerhouse remedies for a wide range of maladies. i have digestive troubles (grumpy guts) so i thought i'd mix the two and give it a try. we'll see.

this is the orchid given to e by his grandmother. it's opened. isn't it pretty? we have two more that we're waiting on. poco a poco.

2011-09-20T22:51:00.007+10:00

a nonsequitur really

it's late and i should be in bed. i think i've mentioned here before that i haven't been feeling well lately, well sometimes at least, i don't feel well. i've had this chronic thing going on for the past few years and really rest is essential. i should be in bed asleep, but i'm not. it's a choice though, really, isn't it? going to bed early so that i can rest well and easy and long, being kind to myself, ahimsa, not succumbing to stress and/or other people's nonsense. it's all a choice.

yesterday we went to the museum, one of our favorite places. j and i love the insect and forest exhibits, e loves the 3-d movie of how the earth formed. it's explosive and chaotic, right up his alley. i mean that in the kindest, most respectful and loving way possible. i love that. he's as comfortable (or even more so) with destruction as he is with creation. my little shivaboy! how he delights in chaos and mayhem :) i so admire and respect that about him.

so j and i having our interests and e having his and andrew being flexible meant us splitting into 2 groups. j and i made off for the forest exhibit and were not disappointed. it's a "small" exhibit, but when you consider that they've basically created a temperate rain forest micro climate inside a steel and cement structure, it's quite impressive.

the lowland copperhead was still wintering and so we missed it again. ~snap~ we have yet to meet it. hopefully next time. however, and this is a very sexy however, we were able to see the bower bird!! two males. one mature and the other just at the point of reaching sexual maturity. at the age of 7 their plumage changes from a spectacular iridescent green, blue and red to a deep blackish blue with iridescent blue highlights. either way they are so very striking and an absolute pleasure to watch, dancing and strutting while adorning their bower with blue "baubles". everything was spotless and perfect.

j pointed out that if he were a bower bird he would have reached sexual maturity by now (because he's 8 1/2 he reminds me) and would therefore have got his change of plumage.

yes, well, i for one am glad he still has little boy fineries and am happy to indulge his colorful displays ;)

see this little beauty above? it's a blue flax lily. one of my favorite australian wild flowers. they are few for now, but soon as spring progresses and the tempestuous weather moves in and out of melbourne and things stabilize and the sun grows stronger, they will be many :)

and that's all.

2011-09-12T21:45:00.003+10:00

oh joy!

because these are just outside our bedroom window!

inhale, devouring the scent of lavender. exhale, lingering on the burst of pink. yes! thank you!

also enjoying reading and writing with the boys or just watching them explore the two together or on their own. what a gift to be able to witness my children growing, expanding themselves in so many different ways.

after dinner tonight we talked about what projects we wanted to jump into now that spring is here and summer will follow and the sun will shine down on us...what we came up with, an insect collection, a new terrarium or three or five. a snake project (j), a frog project (e).

j expressed an intense desire tonight become a better reader. he's reading a bit, but says he wants to be able to read completely on his own and wants a small penlight so that he might read his favorite books until late into the night. all on his own! done! i said.

e loves writing. is always "writing". he's now interested in spelling and continually asks, "mama, how do you spell.....?"

they both recently discovered spongebob squarepants. hhhhheeeeeelllllppppppp! i don't get it, but i say nothing.

they are both spending long afternoons together and each on his own drawing stickman battle scenes. they are really into stickmen. who knew?

last week was big for both boys, but especially j. after two long, tiring weeks of rehearsals he did 2 ballet performances with his ballet school. his first ever since he began ballet. the productions, peter and the wolf and colours were brilliant. he worked so hard. everyone worked so hard and it turned out great! and i loved being a backstage (and side stage) mum. on saturday the boys had a karate grading. their sensei's sensei was in town (he only comes once a year) doing workshops. the boys attended and received an international grading. it was really cool for them to meet the man who taught their teacher, who they admire so much.

big sigh

i love spring!

2011-08-30T20:15:00.006+10:00

an antipodean winter

i think i declared it spring a few posts ago and i'm sticking with it. i only chose the title above because i feel the need to end this theme properly. i need closure. once again, i say to you, winter is over and done with. this is officially the final winter post.

now, on to bigger and better things. my biggest boy, lovely j, has had a hard time of late. there was the finger smashing, the unwanted injections and not to mention a very trying growth spurt all of which have taken their toll on my littlebig boy.

oh the meltdowns have been many his, theirs, mine...good grief! we're all exhausted! today we decided early on to have dates with the boys. andrew and e went to the pool and j and i went for a nature walk. j and i are kindred souls in that when either of us is feeling out of sorts, a long, slow walk among the trees will do much to soothe and ease our agitation. when out in nature we are literally grounded and brought back down into the earth.

before heading out the door with him i remembered Lisa's post from a few days ago and decided we needed to arm ourselves with a few glass jars of varying sizes. as i suspected, all the tension, pain, stress, anger that my sweet boy has been carrying around in his little body the past few days slowly began to melt away. by the time we started on our way back home he was much better. half way home he looked up at me and said, "that was good, mama. really good."

i know he hasn't completely processed everything and it'll take him a while longer to let it all go, but he's getting there. we're all getting there.

i had intended for us to do much the same project as Lisa and her girls, but j had different ideas. so i went with it. he began collecting various different insects. and then he moved on to small flatworms and snails. the wriggly guy above was much too big, j decided, and so was put back. j felt it would have been cruel to keep him in a small jar. there was, however, lots of investigating before he was put back under the log he came from.

a sweet, but forced smile...like i said, he's getting there.

the photos are out of order. our new computer isn't too friendly with me yet. at any rate, above and below is my little guy with his temporary terrarium.

when we got home he transferred everything to one of his bigger terrariums. the moss and lichen were put down over a layer of soil and rotting leaves from the garden and then the flatworms and insects were put in last. j was quite pleased. now he'll do what he always does. he'll check it everyday, he'll draw pictures of the flatworms, he'll make "youtube" videos about terrariums, flatworms, beetle larvae/pupae (there were three in the terrarium to begin with)...until one day he finds that one or many wee transformations have taken place. sometimes the seemingly most insignificant of events can lead to the most incredible alchemical transformations. when that day comes, he'll take the whole lot outdoors and after saying his goodbye's and finding a new home for each little creature he'll put the terrarium away until the next time he needs it.

closure. that is how he does it.

2011-08-25T13:58:00.001+10:00

dreamin'

...of broad bean pesto!

Jai Ma!!

2011-08-23T17:22:00.002+10:00

oh my

sigh. i am feeling bedraggled. put through the ringer. over the weekend i spent saturday night and early sunday morning in the emergency room with j. he crushed his finger between a heavy plant pot and a cement wall and ended up needing a tetanus shot and several x-rays. as it turns out his finger is fine, but he was injected with poison (the tetanus shot includes formaldehyde etc etc. among other nasties. my heart still skips a beat when i think about it) and had to spend HOURS in the er. i've been working overtime to help him process everything in a positive way so that he doesn't end up melting down. my hard work seems to have paid off, mostly. we've made it through, but i am completely exhausted. so today i spent a few hours on my own at one of my favorite places. i feel a bit better. here's a look at some of the brighter moments of my day.

i believe this is a running postman. i could be wrong though. if i am and you know what it is i'd love to know!

tall sundew. still not flowering.

milkmaid?

it looks as if spring is really and truly here, touch wood. i saw more wild orchids and the beginnings of wildflower blossoms. oh my. i'm breathing a bit easier just knowing this.

2011-08-17T12:28:00.003+10:00

setting the table

the other day i asked him, the littlest one, to help me get the table ready for lunch. ok mama! came a hearty reply from my sweet boy. i could hear him humming to himself as he set about doing what he needed to do to get everything ready. from the dining area, which doubles as our craft area, i heard markers dumped on the table and thick card stock being pulled from the craft drawer. hhmmm, i wondered what he was up to.

a few minutes later i heard him explain that since today was a day of love, hugs and cuddles (as opposed to the usual tears, bickering & daily meltdowns we've been experiencing lately) he would make special name cards for everyone so that they would feel, you know, special. once he finished with crafting he went to his room and brought out the big bucket of cars that he and his brother have been collecting ever since they were babies. it's a very special bucket of cars :) and so appropriate for our special table setting.

he then began placing the cars on the table around the plates, forks, glasses, knives...making cute little scenes or smash em up crashes or traffic jams, whatever tickled his fancy really. he took his time and asked everyone to stay away so that he could focus on his labor of love plus he wanted it all to be a surprise. of course. when he finished he called me in to have a look. it's perfect, i said, and smiled. i meant it. it really was perfect.

do you remember the part about daily meltdowns i mentioned above? big brother is going through a fairly intense growth spurt/developmental stage and so lately our days together have been less than ideal. challenging. really painful at times. seeing the cars on the table alongside the plates, etc, was too much for him. it was too out of the ordinary and he began a downward spiral at light speed.

i wanted to support him, but just couldn't. his little brother had worked so hard, put so much effort and love into it and turned the mundane task of setting the lunchtime table into an art. my littlest guy was crushed that his brother didn't like it. i could see the sadness and disappointment on his little face. the one person he's always so eager to please is his brother. j ,big brother, demanded it all be taken away, but i refused, many times over. i didn't know what to do. i felt nauseous and so didn't eat. i just sat there trying to put out a raging fire with a dixie cup full of water. silly, i know, but that's how it felt to me.

this incident was never resolved. not only could i not think of anything else to do to help everyone move on, i simply ran out of steam. i sat there for a while longer, but then eventually went to bed. five minutes later little e joined me. both of my boys have sensory integration issues+ which they inherited from their parents, both parents. unfortunately only one of those parents is willing to acknowledge their personal challenges and limitations. which means, sadly, that the one parent has to carry the load of helping everyone move through every difficult situation that arises. it's exhausting, but my current health issues are beginning to make sense to me now.

well, i won't let my little guy's beautiful table setting efforts be overshadowed again. here are a few photos. i absolutely adore what he did!

on the streets of londontown!

fire engine chaos!

(see the paint stains? ooops! i told you our dining area doubles as a craft area.)

2011-08-10T15:22:00.000+10:00

an antipodean winter

i think we've turned a corner

2011-08-05T00:26:00.003+10:00

this and that from a few days ago

spiders and webs and boisterous little boys romping in a beloved tree

boots walking. got so many places to go.

looking up. just because. i love you sky. i love you tree.

this and that from a few days ago

2011-07-31T18:39:00.003+10:00

an antipodean winter

we are just past midwinter (thank you, sweet divine universe) and i couldn't be more thrilled. this wee space here has been terribly neglected. i think i can safely say that this has been the worst winter ever. we've had to deal with one flu virus after another and quite frankly i'm over it. all of it. winter, rain, flu...be gone with ya.

the other day we took the boys here and had a lovely time strolling around listening to frogs, relishing the warm sun, forgetting completely about the hacking cough that seems to enjoy tormenting at least 3 of us.

guess what we spied? apart from the 4 different types of sundews, some of which were flowering (hip!hip!hooray!), we saw some of the first late winter orchids. be still me heart! i practically squealed with delight. and here it is the nodding greenhood orchid.

i imagine it was beautiful looking at it from that angle with sunlight pouring through

green

2011-07-07T18:06:00.002+10:00

*

i spent half the day working in the garden under a slow, fuzzy, falling drizzle....

and

i'm

so

glad

i

did!!

what a gift!

2011-07-06T13:14:00.004+10:00

an antipodean winter

favorite winter colors ever!!

wattle yellow &

oxalis green

2011-07-01T19:56:00.004+10:00

untitled

goodness....yet again the days have flown by in such a whirl. how many days since i last visited this little blog? do i dare count them? no, i think not.

let's see then, where do i begin? although we have been crazy busy with the mundane and every now and then the not so mundane, our days are also full to bursting with a lovely lighthearted sweetness. the boys fly through the day doing their boy things, such as drawing, pretend playing, reading, sword fighting, storywriting & telling, jumping, karate-ing...it always amazes me how they greet life everyday with so much enthusiasm, as if they had never challenged one another to a dual or drawn monsters together for an entire afternoon. and although they've been bickering ALOT lately, they've also been laughing together and enjoying each other's company just as much. it is such a gift to be able to watch their relationship grow and deepen as they mature into big/little boys. i would not miss this time for anything! not to offend or demean the plight of working mothers, but you could not pay me a high enough salary to walk away from our very simple, VERY budget conscious, but oh so fulfilling way of life.

as for me, i am at the end of a 6 month permaculture design course so when i have a free moment my attention is focused on the final design project due in 2 weeks. eeep! from now until mid july life is going to be really interesting. we'll take it in stride as we always do. umm, actually what that last sentence really means is that i'll eat my weight in gluten free choco-mint biscuits while stressing over last minute details. as one does, right?

the past few weeks in photos...

my little dragon

sipping warm tea at the park while waiting for a friend to arrive

life

2011-06-20T14:30:00.002+10:00

an antipodean winter

here he is, the great oak, standing completely naked in the back garden. wednesday is the winter solstice. thank you! we need this.

because of illness (nothing serious) we missed the annual Winter Solstice Lantern Festival up in the foothills. we were really looking forward to it, but will celebrate quietly--on our own--on the day.

candles, lots of candles. a warm welcoming. a gentle sigh. a bright rebirth. a return and a new beginning. like i said, we really need this.

2011-06-04T20:11:00.003+10:00

an antipodean winter

drosera whittakeri/ scented sundew

they disappear during the hot, dry summers, but return in plenty when the weather becomes cool and damp. we were exploring our little nature sanctuary one cold, winter day shortly after moving here almost two years ago, when we stumbled upon them. actually j found them with his keen eye. nothing gets past that boy. we always go back to the same spot every winter and they are always there.

they've only just arrived. look how green they are! and i love how the glob of glue on the end enhances the red tips. so pretty. in a few weeks they'll begin to flower. they send up the prettiest little white flowers sitting atop a green stalk. they generally stick around until september, maybe even october depending on how wet it is.

they are one of our favorite things about winter here in australia. i'm sure atleast one or ten:) more photos of this particular drosera will grace the "pages" of this blog before winter's end.

and just in case you're wondering, it's the red pigment on the end of the little hair-like "fingers" that attract the insects. the globules are not scented or sweet tasting. they are just sticky globs that trap the unsuspecting insects who fall for the plant's clever trick.

2011-05-30T23:20:00.002+10:00

loves trees

the other day i had the opportunity to spend a few hours on my own so i grabbed the camera and headed to one of my favorite (sub)urban places. i desperately needed to connect with the Earth, Trees, Green. desperately!

i felt an immediate release. my breathing slowed. my pace slowed. my head cleared. surrounded by the rhythmic breath of the trees, i let the dewy green soak into me. i felt more at peace, filled with awe & love for the Greatness that is.

it was enough. i am enough.

2011-05-26T10:59:00.003+10:00

an antipodean winter

i think i've decided to do a winter series. in that case, it seems that this is the first post. officially winter begins june 1st which is just around the corner, no? lately, because of illness etc...we've spent many days indoors. on days such as those the boys tend to grab their drawing pencils, scissors, markers, charcoal pencils and oil pastels and of course a couple of thick blankies and spread themselves out on the floor in front of the fire and draw. for hours! drawing and sketching are by far their favorite indoor winter activities. and because they are both suddenly interested in reading and writing again, they are adding descriptive words and short phrases to their pieces.

below is a picture e drew yesterday. it's a storm trooper. he's wearing his bed hat. in his raised arm he's holding a meat sandwich, his favorite bedtime snack, and in the other hand he's holding his bedclothes. he's being cheeky and refusing to put them on. on his right is the bedside table next to his bed (which is on the left). on his bedside table is a lamp and to the left of the lamp is his harmonica. he loves playing the harmonica and is quite an accomplished musician. to the right of the lamp are several drinking glasses because he gets thirsty at night, but by morning he simply can't be bothered returning the glass to the kitchen so he's got quite a collection going. on the front of the bedside table are the drawers where he keeps his arsenal of storm trooper weapons. and that's it says e.

2011-05-20T17:36:00.003+10:00

autumn 2011

the last days

winter is upon us i feel and so i think this post will be the last of the autumn 2011 series. i'm trying to bring a bit of lightness to our days as the past few weeks have been heavy with illness, stress, worry. lightness, however, does not come easily or readily when the days are short and growing shorter and the sky above is cloudy gray...almost every day.

if i'm honest (and i will be), these past few weeks have been just too much for me in the end. i couldn't carry their heaviness any longer. so yesterday and today i sank myself into the cushions of the sofa, feverish, throat painful and ablaze with redness, head throbbing and i let small, wet tears wash it all away. the boys were busy playing their games of pretend, securely grounded in their own worlds far far away. they did not miss a step.

an amazing thing happens during illness. i notice when i am not well that all aspects of my Self, including my very strong and shadowy Ego, fall into a sort of hibernation. it's not that i enjoy being ill, but it's during these times of pain and sickness that i am able to release with such ease (and grace) many past hurts and grievances. healing is painful, but inner reconciliation is a powerful and beautiful thing.

as much as i complain about our (not so comparatively;)) cold winters down here in melbourne, i do enjoy the opportunity for inner growth, healing and self awareness that comes along with winter's cold breath. today i took a moment to step outside in my pj's and snap a few photos of the big old oak. by now he's shed most of his leaves, but there are still a few hanging on. they know, however, that their time to let go and fall, drift away is nigh upon them. those closest to the ground still have a bit of their summer green left, but by tomorrow or the next day more red will have bled in, autumn and summer mixing. winter quickly setting.

it was while standing under the large, protective arms of this big old oak this afternoon contemplating, studying, reveling in his strength and fortitude that i realized something. i am ready to move forward....even if just one or two baby steps....into something new.

bleed

big sky & oak

2011-05-17T21:12:00.003+10:00

somewhere over...

it seems that they have arrived. the winter blues....and reds and greens as well. this week we are recovering from last week. lots of rain. cold. wind. rainbows so vibrant and unexpected they stopped traffic. a day trip to the hospital for me and j. he had surgery and a few other "things" to get through. and he did. valiantly. he is such an amazingly patient and tolerant little boy. but this week we're feeling the strain of last week. it'll be ok. soon.

in the meantime we have, monopoly, felting, math and so many other number games, mazes! oh!-good!-grief!- we have mazes!!, pretend play, knitting, sewing and good eatin'. thank goodness for raw leafy greens! and so although we are plagued by mood swings and emotional outbursts, sniffles, coughs and throat pain, we know that without a doubt there is a silver lining. we know because in the past week, we've seen it many times over....along with the dark, heavy clouds and the jaw dropping rainbows :)

have a great one, friends!

2011-05-06T18:17:00.003+10:00

autumn 2011

where i'm at

i'm tryng to find my autumn feet before winter begins. not an easy task as i tend to dig them deep into the earth, resisting change, resisting transition. it would be so much easier...

i haven't been feeling well lately. not necessarily because of the cold (have i mentioned it's been really cold lately? it's been really cold lately!), but the dark, wet, chilly days add to the discomfort of a chronic UTI.

:)(:

on the up side, the other day while looking out the window the boys and i spotted this poisonous little cutie in our front garden. it's been the object of our affection ever since. fungal love!

we've been doing alot of felting lately. it seems to calm frazzled mama nerves and soothes the restless, agitated hearts of little boys who don't quite understand why i have to say no to their favorite running and jumping games...at least for the time being.

i am absolutely loving the process of building the daily fire in the fire place and tending to it throughout the day and into the night. what a worthy endeavor!

late afternoon sun & gum tree

and finally, seeing all those seedlings grow and grow and grow into our winter staples is really warming the darkest and coldest regions of my heart. mmmmmmmmm, creamy kale soup, anymore? roasted beetroot? leeks and potatoes? rocket? mizuna? oh my!!!

2011-05-02T20:02:00.003+10:00

autumn 2011

a little of this & a little of that

last week sometime we headed up into the foothills for a wee expedition. it was a glorious day with sun, sun and more sun! the hills were alive with the sound of music, birds, little creeks gurgling, little boys snurgling, laughter, squeals and peels. it was grand. wish you had been there, but since you weren't here is a bit of it we brought back just for YOU!

faerie spun silk

mozzie, lichen

exactly the way i saw it

wishing you love, love & more love until you burst:)

2011-04-26T20:09:00.005+10:00

waterbaby

both my boys are water babies in that they had a waterbirth, but undeniably this little one has a special connection with water. children in general seem to understand how important and special it is. and it (water) in turn recognises how special our little ones are. i know, i feel that there is a very deep bond there between them, water and children. over the years i think we adults tend to lose or forget that sacred bond. although, most of us are reminded when we visit the beach (which is why it is still a popular vacation spot for so many) or watch a child interact with the vastness of the ocean. yes, they know how big it is and yes, they understand it's power.

the greeting

he runs down to say hello. then he begins to shout, dance, wave his arms in the air. after a while he becomes quiet and introspective and then begins asking questions or chatting, almost whispering to the waves crashing at his feet.

looking for answers

i wouldn't dare interrupt because i believe it is vitally important for him to have his privacy, to be able to finish the conversation and say all that he needs. also, i love just hanging back and watching them weave their magic spells on one another.

finding what he needs

i know he's being well cared for.

dance

2011-04-20T14:07:00.003+10:00

autumn 2011

at home

we had a few days of gorgeous, warm sunshine. it was divine! now it's raining and chilly again and most likely it'll be this way until errrrr.....october, perhaps. no matter. we're ready.

below are a few photos i took the other day while working/playing in the back garden. we're renting the house we live in and have had to do a lot of cleaning up outside. it was terribly over grown and as we've cut things back and away we've discovered a fair bit of garbage and other discarded items lying about. it's beginning to look heaps better and we feel much more comfortable milling around back there now.

leaf bath, baby!

one wonderful surprise we came across as we were cutting back over grown trees and shrubs was this lovely cactus. just to give you an idea how over grown this garden was, that cactus pictured below is 4 ft tall!! four feet tall!! anyway, we are showering it with love and appreciation so hopefully it will respond in kind and continue to grow. every time i look at "her" i'm reminded of my years spent in the desert southwest. i have such wonderful memories from phoenix and "she" has awakened them all. thanks, gal!

love!

miss bluebelle

the gratuitous chook shot! we love our gals and it is such an honor to share our garden with them. they have brought so much happiness into our lives. i never imagined i would enjoy their company so immensely and i certainly never imagined they would have such distinct and ummm...colorful personalities. plus, they very generously give us delicious eggs everyday, rain or shine. you can't beat that!

it's autumn here down south. the days are shorter, the nights are colder...and wetter and soon there'll be a roaring fire in the hearth, by necessity mind you. and the days roll on.....

2011-04-15T13:57:00.006+10:00

autumn 2011

days of rain...

which always lends itself to indoor adventures like dominos, making transformer costumes from cardboard boxes, fun with numbers in all it's forms and applications (for j because he's "just really into math"), more knitting (for me), eating loads of easter candy (them), reading (me... because for them "math is just really the best"...have i mentioned they love math?), legos galore, wonderfully nourishing smoothies, a bit more felting and a little sewing....and on and on. it's amazing the many ways one can find to expand those 4 small walls when they begin to close in.

during a break in the rain yesterday i traipsed, i love traipsing, don't you? i traipsed outside with camera slung over my shoulder in bare naked feet, ooooh! cold, wet grass, yum! and said hello to the world anew all wet, clean and green. what a greeting i got in return.

we've been making small, slow changes to our diet lately which of course is being felt on many different levels. physically i feel more energetic and the brain fog that's plagued me for years is finally lifting. wow! i can actually remember what i'm going to say from one sentence to the next. that one is a real confidence booster because i can see for the first time in years that i'm not an imbecile after all, just malnourished. my poor brain has been lacking in proper nutrition for so long that i know i have a ways to go before things return to "normal", but i'm just i'm finally on the road to recovery. so what are these changes? more raw and super foods. for now i'm only eating about 20-30% raw, which isn't much, but we're heading into winter and i know from experience that my body doesn't digest raw food as easily during the cold months. the super foods i've added recently are raw honey, raw cacao, spirulina, goji berries and kelp. as i go along and learn more and become more in tune with what my body needs i'll continue to add to or perhaps even take away from this list. for now though, things seem to be moving in the right direction. it's true what they say you know, you are what you eat and if you haven't got your health... hope you're enjoying all the brilliant colors of life wherever you may be!

2011-04-13T12:51:00.005+10:00

where we are

what a dreadful blogger i am. life seems to be getting in the way of me posting here, but if i'm honest (and i'm gonna be) i do not mind one bit. we've been busy birdwatching around the neighborhood, taking long walks, playing chase and tag in the park, admiring the changing hue of the old oak in the garden, planting seeds, building, mulching, feeding, dreaming of ducks, felting, squealing, art-ing, knitting...oh the fun busy-ness we've enjoyed lately! to top it all off we spent this morning with herps, reps & crocodillians. so in short, i have two utterly elated, joyfully flabbergasted (after all it's not everyday one gets to reach out to a croc now, is it?), wonderfully satisfied little boys. life is constant change and it's good that way.

a bit of what we saw on our walk the other day

delicious little splashes of fall color here and there

drip,drop,drip

log,finger,insect eggs(perhaps)

b&w

and this morning on our way out the door i noticed we now have tiny leek seedlings in one of the garden beds :) happyhappy!

2011-04-02T21:27:00.005+11:00

autumn 2011

oak koha / the reddening of leaves

yes, another photo of autumn foliage. except this time it's a non-native. the leaves on the large oak in our back garden are just beginning to turn. it's pretty, but really out of place down here, in my opinion. however, i am taking every opportunity to relish that amazing blazing color.

wishing you warmth, peace & light wherever you may be!

all my best,

cyndi

2011-03-29T13:04:00.006+11:00

autumn 2011

from green to yellow to orange to red

kangaroo apple

a few days ago we had to run an errand up in the foothills and decided to spend the afternoon up there hiking around afterward. it was wonderfully drippy, cool and the air felt clean and ripe. because autumn is a time for rain and heavy morning dew, everything is green, vibrant green, and fruiting. we saw a few native edibles, one of which was the kangaroo apple below. it's from the solanacea family, the nightshade group. can you tell? if i remember correctly the flower looks much like that of eggplant, 5 purple petals with a yellow anther. makes sense, no?

as with other fruit, veg and herb from the nightshade group a bit of precaution (or just common sense) should be taken when eating them. otherwise you risk poisoning. this particular kangaroo apple above is not yet ready to eat. they say it's best to eat them just after they've fallen to the ground. this could be a complete fabrication (my memory falters more often than not these days), but i think i remember hearing that they cause temporary blindness if eaten too soon. i have never eaten one, however, i much prefer them like this. they add a lovely splash of color to a landscape that would otherwise be greyish green.

2011-03-24T18:38:00.003+11:00

today

wet, gray with gloom & a chill to boot. no mind. a devil may care wind tears through drippy leaves every now and then, a million happy droplets rush to the ground washing away in rivulets of bright yellow. it's pollen producing season in these parts. the garden fence is stripey yellow in places. with hints of lichen green here and there. jubileeeee.

windowsill, discarded then found whiskey bottle, english ivy

soggy afternoon light welcomes me to the window time and again. straight into a moment of solitude i step. how long? the dripdrop mantra just beyond the windowpane gently pulls me into reverieeee. kettle whistles on stove. no mind.

2011-03-20T14:34:00.003+11:00

autumn 2011

a study of yellow

it's time to switch gears and stop struggling against the flow of Mother Nature. although i'm not completely satisfied with how our summer went this year and do not feel ready to let go of it, it is fall and therefore time to move on. the cycle continues whether or not we're ready anyways, does it not?

in the spirit of change and acceptance i thought i'd begin my autumn series. the aim is simple. to pay witness and respect and reverence to the beauty and wonder that lays itself before us as things begin to mellow and transform down here in the southern hemisphere.

i've noticed that yellow tends to dominate the landscape during the cooler times of the year. right now that means dandelions and a few other native flowering plants, but soon it will mean the wattle trees will begin to bloom and fruit and that my friends is something quite extraordinary. i'm looking forward to sharing it with you.

yellow

2011-03-19T12:41:00.003+11:00

japan

you've all heard about it. i imagine you've even thought to yourself, "what can i do? is there anything?" yes. at the very least we can all do this. we can hold the entire nation in our thoughts, our hearts and lift it up with love, healing, joy, peace, courage...there are no limits to what we can do if we sit with intention. it's the most and the least we can do.

tampopo

2011-03-09T09:42:00.002+11:00

a little bit about

my biggest boy is 8! he's suddenly got so tall, he's up to my chin now, and his feet are almost as big as mine! he can wear my runners, people!

he's boisterous and theatrical, but also quietly introverted and private with his thoughts. sometimes he talks to me nonstop until i think my ears might fall off. he tells me about his plans for this and that. and then other times he sits quietly for long spells staring out the window, lost in thought or perhaps found, i don't know.

anticipating

when he's outside exploring he practices making nature docos because he knows that is what he will do someday very soon. he will! just like his hero, "Sir David Attenborough". it's always "Sir" you know, at least in our house.

he stutters, sometimes hopelessly, but i love how it never gets in his way. he might repeat the same sound 8,9,10 times, but he never gives up. he's never once felt ashamed of his voice or how he speaks. he says what's on his mind or in his heart and he does so with such self-confidence. he has taught me so much about my own vanity, pride and lack of self confidence. i have so much admiration and respect for him.

this sweet boy is very quickly, too quickly, becoming a beautiful little man.

decorating

2011-03-03T21:03:00.002+11:00

hi

it's been a while, hasn't it? i haven't felt much like blogging lately. i've been busy, but really in all honesty i just haven't felt like blogging. there are, in actuality, many things i haven't been doing of late. i haven't picked up my camera in weeks, perhaps over a month. the photo below was taken in november i believe. i feel completely uninspired at the moment, but i have noticed "stirrings" the past few days.

we've had absolutely no summer down here whatsoever and i think that has been the biggest downer for me. i haven't gone to the beach. i haven't wiggled my toes in the warm sand or splashed around in the cold cold ocean shallows. i haven't gone rock pooling, or camping or hiking (well, hardly at all) or any of the other fun summery stuff one does when it's warm and buggy and delicious outside. i love summer so much. i think i may have mentioned that here before, once or twice or many many times, ahem. yes, well, moving on. except i can't move on. i don't want to move on. bugger all! i want my summer!

sadly though it's officially fall down here in the southern hemisphere, as of yesterday or the day before perhaps. even if i'm not ready to move on, Mother Nature is, so we must all go where she wants to carry us. knowing this, feeling her gentle nudges, i walk. i walk with trepidation into waning light, shorter days, cooler nights, dewy mornings, shifting colors and a growing unease knowing that winter is not long to come. winter weighs heavy on me. always.

but, ok, let me tell you what i have been doing. i've been having a great time with my littles. we're in the habit lately of telling outlandish tales to one another and laughing alot together. that's huge, is it not? i've done a little yoga here and there. i'm still jogging on a fairly regular basis. i've almost (finally) finished knitting j's raglan jumper that i started last june! i'm joining a writer's group for those interested in writing children's lit. and last but not least, i have recently started a 6 month long permaculture design course. i plan on getting the certificate and perhaps doing a little work in that area every now and then...when i'm not busy with the boys that is.

so whether (or weather) i'm prepared for it or not, seasons change. and it all keeps rolling along...sometimes gently sometimes not. and even when we don't get what we expect or want that's ok i suppose because She, Our Ever Loving Mother, picks us up, reshapes us, teaches us, just as she teaches all her children, how to grow, die and rebirth ourselves...again and again and again.

so it goes, so it flows. summer will come again next year.

2011-02-07T13:00:00.004+11:00

vanity & a quick hello

because i miss this little spot. we're still working on getting internet hook-up at the new place. it may be a few more days yet before that happens. i'm enjoying coming "here" to the old place to visit you and the garden. like in the olden days . the days of yore ;)

i couldn't resist sneaking in more photos of the sunflowers. they are exquisite and i so look forward to their sunny greetings, whatever the weather. they seem to take no notice of cold, dreary, midsummer days.

long days and lack of sleep are nipping at my heels and seem to be getting the better of me today, but thank Goodness for the sun...and fresh beans from the garden :)

all my best,

cyndi

2011-02-01T15:17:00.003+11:00

a last look

we are in the middle of moving. it's exciting, exhausting, hot (yes! we finally got heat & sun) and i can't wait for it to be over (the moving. not the heat and sunshine! i wasn't born a desert rat, but those 10+ years lived in the american desert southwest converted me into one. i am a desert rat and i love heat). i also have nomadic tendencies so i do love the thrill of discovering new places, even if it is just 10 minutes down the road, but now i am looking forward to getting settled in.

nasturtium

we'll take our time with this transition though. we are still half in one house and half in the other. we decided to do it this way because we worked so hard to get the garden going here at our old house thinking that we would be here until the spring (september). unfortunately the not-so-honest new landlords decided they would break lease and present us with a notice to vacate right around christmas. it's really so frustrating being at the receiving end of such dishonesty, but easy come easy go, right? we have a "new" rental property that we feel happy and comfortable with and really in the end that's the most important.

sunflowers

so i suppose we have it pretty good right now even though we are doing alot of to-ing and fro-ing. we've got the garden here (at the old place) that is really starting to give us copious amounts of fruit, veg and herb and at the other place we have a great, big, thickety garden that we will soon begin getting ready for autumn planting. and then there are the animals to take of etc etc. the hens are loving digging around in the thick leaf litter. truth be told they are doing most of the clearing away work for us :)

rosemary & chamomile

so wish us luck. february is going to be a zinger of a month. oh! and happy chinese new year. we'll be celebrating with my husband's family on friday and it's always something to look forward to. my husband's family are traditional vietnamese catholic and so i'm hoping there'll be pho, but if not i know there will at least be plenty of red wine!

to new beginnings!

2011-01-27T14:31:00.000+11:00

hoverfly

2011-01-24T21:48:00.002+11:00

from today

look! there was sun. not at first, but eventually and so we took it. the ground was crawling (yes, it was, really) with what are called christmas beetles, but this year they arrived a little late. perhaps because of the cool, wet weather. at any rate, we had a lovely time introducing ourselves to this year's generation of these sweet little crawlies.

hello little friend

then there were two and then three and 7 and then finally he had 10 beetles on one hand
until....

...they all flew away one by one by one

2011-01-22T10:40:00.004+11:00

off the chest

- we're moving in a week and i've so far packed only one small box.

- this has been the slowest and coldest summer i've ever experienced. i don't think we can even call it summer. where is the sun and warmth? they are saying la nina stole it. the whole package, summer wrapped up nice and pretty with a fancy bow, it's just gone. i wish she'd give it back.

flowers in vase on table

- it seems that someone hacked into my yahoo email account a few weeks ago and changed all my information so not only am i locked out, but most likely my address is being used to send those vicious spam mails

- i've had a migraine for almost 3 days

- both boys are experiencing "growing pains" at the same time, hence the migraine

- i haven't done yoga in 7 months (most likely also contributing to the migraine)

- i am feeling so very stunted...creatively and in other ways

- the ideas are flowing, i just don't know what to do with them (see above)

- it's the end of january and our limp, ugly christmas tree is still standing in the living room

- apathy sucks

there! now that i've got that off my chest i feel a bit lighter and i am reminded of something a lovely lady friend of mine in tokyo says from time to time, i imagine when she's feeling a bit overwrought by circumstances, "mustn't grumble."

ok. now, getting on with life!

2011-01-16T00:17:00.004+11:00

3200ISO

photos from a short bushwalk tonight...as the light was waning, and the night chorus was just getting started, and colors began softening into one another...and finally! i could just begin to make out my own thoughts...that had been held tight into a little ball, swirling, rattling, menacing me to break free. letting go.

they want you to know that they aren't blue hu Hu. they are actually a sort of take-my-breath-away violet

two favorite colors

wishes she lived there

the day ending gloriously

i do love the soft "chatter" of 3200ISO.

2011-01-13T15:42:00.003+11:00

gathering

last year was the first season i endeavored to grow a bit of our own food. i knew very little about gardening and permaculture, but armed with a few good reference books i was able to finish the season moderately successful. we harvested a little of everything we put in and we started with seedlings, not seeds. the idea of starting from seed was too daunting a task for this first timer. all things considered, we did ok.

parsley & nasturtium

this season i still consider myself a beginner as i feel i'm only slightly more savvy than last summer. there are a few things i've learned, however, that i think i'm doing right. one thing i did over the winter was try to build up the soil. i grew green mulch (red clover and lucerne in my case) in two beds and in the other beds i grew broad beans to build up nitrogen. we don't eat broad beans, but they are nice for the animals and as i said...nitrogen!! i also dug things like eggshell (lots of eggshell) and banana peels directly into the beds. if you asked me why i did these things my response would most likely be, "well, it just felt like the thing to do." that and every permie reference i have begs, pleads with you to do this during the off months.

comfrey flower & seed drying

so there it is, build up the soil and they will come. the garden is doing ok this season. it does lack in one thing though. sunshine! the rain has been plentiful and as a result everything is green and plucky and spritely, but not fruiting sadly.

coriander

to keep my mind off the lack of sunshine and the stunted or nonexistent tomatoes, eggplant, capsicum...,i've been gathering seed from crops that i put in the garden back in early spring. oh it's been so much fun. i had NO idea how much i LOVE gathering seed. it's been really satisfying and on a primeval level. it really does stir something very deep and old that's been sitting quietly in my bones for eons. something that i don't quite understand because it's more than just about food storage or an ancient bartering medium or healing and nurturing the future into the now. it's life and art and love and hands outstretched with offering. a poem, a link to the past, a lifeline to the future, black, white ,red, joy, pain, a guffaw. the wind, rain, torrential floods and devastation, brittle, bone dry deserts and the straw that broke the camel's back.

and it's a very good place to start, i reckon.

i am woman! i am gatherer! hear me roar! (sorry! cheezy. i know, but couldn't resist:))

2011-01-07T14:46:00.003+11:00

so so good

the boys and i dropped a few things off at our local thrift shop yesterday and as is always the case we were sucked in by all the pretty, thrifty things. so we stayed a long while, meandering up and down, in and out of each aisle, at least twice i'd say.

j found a fuzzy winter hat for his noggin. i found a small wooden chest of drawers. e found this little fish vase below. it was love at first sight. upon seeing it he proclaimed , "oh! mummy! look at the fish. it's just so so good. can i please?" well, of course!

fish vase with nasturtium, lavender, chamomile, comfrey flowers & native fuchsia

he brought it home, cleaned it and promptly picked these flowers from the garden. after that i sort of lost track of it, and him for that matter. he's got this fast and furious energy about him always. he and i operate at two different speeds. well, most of the time anyways.

this morning after breakfast i offered to help them tidy up their room. when i walked in, there it was sitting prettily in the window. and the flowers were still fresh :)

2011-01-05T09:27:00.003+11:00

lilydale lake

initially we went for fishing, but unfortunately it didn't work out. the day didn't offer the right kind of conditions, for the fish or us. so we switched gears and found other adventures. the sandy beach areas offered hours of frolicking, sandcastles, tickles and such. the fishing woes were quickly forgotten.

although the area isn't too far from us, it is far enough to offer slightly different varieties of flora and fauna. there were lots of really interesting water birds we don't normally see in our neck of the woods. an ibis was one of them, but we're still researching some of the others.

and of course we enjoyed the wetlands on offer. it was thoroughly explored, poked, looked at, pondered about...it's impossible to hurry j along when he has that much water and weed to uncover.

on our walk back to the lake j and i passed a small stand of gum trees all of which were decorated with these amazing balls of spidery spun silk and dried bits of tree, seeds, leaves, small twigs. it was amazing. and sure enough, once j began his "closer inspection" he found medium sized spiders living in them. imagine an entire tree dressed in these fist sized jewels!

it's true this continent is home to some amazing creatures, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately depending on your outlook) one rarely catches a glimpse of them because they are so shy and reclusive. we considered ourselves quite lucky and so by the time we left felt glad that the fishing trip turned into something very different altogether.

initially it was a bit difficult to help j over the "hump" of the lost fishing trip. he had become really attached to the idea of learning more about fishing and the fish living in the lake. it was well worth the effort though because in the end we made new discoveries and saw things we weren't expecting. by the time we got home i had two very happy (and tired) boys.

2010-12-31T10:22:00.003+11:00

at home...these days

i know it's a bit of the same old same old, but to me it's always magic. to walk out the back door into the garden, look to the left and spy the lavender, nasturtiums, comfrey, chamomile all aflower and buzzing with winged frenzy, never loses its charm. ever. i could find amusement for an eternity in that simple little scene.

as you can see the night crawlers have been busy at it as well. we're looking forward to deep summer nights when the giant garden spiders come alive, thrive and leave their treasures of spun light tangled in the leaves, eaves and other secret places the likes of which we'll never know.

this one pretends he's a plum, dangling from a branch, soaking up the sun and heat and light until he can hold on not a moment longer and then falls, fully ripe & giggling to the ground. yum!

there it is, a bit of our every day. rest assured there's more. so much more. but we'll start with this.

2010-12-29T10:02:00.003+11:00

the post christmas post

random photos

a great time was had by all this christmas and now we are ready to head straight into the new year.

lookin'

usin' the force

watchin' ducks, taddies & a coot

bugviewer

yes, he was serious

happy 2011, ya'll!

2010-12-21T21:08:00.002+11:00

christmas colors

pink

no i haven't ticked off all the things i had meant to do in preparation for this holiday season, have you? i don't know about you, but i have to let it go. well, most of it, but not all. i'm beginning to feel stressed and grumpy and that is NOT what the holiday is about. is it? you already knew that though, didn'tcha? it takes me a bit longer to figure these things out.

guess what.....there was a peek of sunshine today. and there's talk of more tomorrow. very fitting i'd say, the summer solstice bringing with it the summer sun.

all my best to you,

cyndi

2010-12-20T16:38:00.004+11:00

grumble, grumble, grumble

my only complaint is that the rain won't stop and it's too chilly to take off my sweater. on the upside though, it's been a perfect companion to my knitting as i (try desperately to) finish up last minute holiday gifts.

i'd rather have summer back though. grumble, grumble, grumble.

om shanti

2010-12-14T21:20:00.004+11:00

christmas colors

hollyhocks {sigh}

need i say more?

2010-12-13T13:33:00.005+11:00

christmas colors

purple & green

i've been a little under the weather lately and in general just feeling like the world is a very hostile place to be right now, so away i ran into my own private (inner) wood. escape is lovely...and essential.

purple runner beans flowering in my garden

a wonderful thing has happened as a result of ALL THAT RAIN! the ajisai is flowering this year. ajisai is the japanese word for it, i'm sorry i can't remember the english. i associate this flower so closely with japan, summer and the rainy season now because they are everywhere during that time of year over there in that beautiful, far away country. well, i have a little bit of japan right here in my garden and it is heavenly and a real comfort to me right now.

ajisai

the boys and i made a gigantic double chocolate, chocolate chip cookie and it's ready, fresh out of the oven. hhhmmmm, chocolate, another one of those little comforts. i'm starting to feel better already.

ajisai

hope you are enjoying this holiday season with lots of delicious, little comforts strewn here and there.

2010-12-09T09:31:00.003+11:00

pesada

the garden is loving the deluge, of course, but i am beginning to feel the oppressive weight of all that water.

yesterday a door closed. today i'm wondering, waiting, watching. i know another one will open because it always does. i'm just wondering when, where and which one.

2010-12-02T12:32:00.003+11:00

once there was a tree...

and the boy(s) loved the tree...

very much.

and the tree was happy.*

or so we imagine; because this particular tree just keeps on giving. she is home to so many fascinating creatures both big and small. she's completely hollow from the bottom to her middle
and she always lets the boys crawl in and have a looksee around. when they do they are greeted by centipedes, millipedes, earwigs, butchy boys, big beetles, little beetles, medium sized beetles and once there was even a bat that peeped from far above their heads. although she may look well past her prime, she is not. she is very much alive and thriving and giving.

the end.

*thanks to Shel Silverstein for letting me swipe.

2010-11-30T09:16:00.004+11:00

more christmas colors

white

the boys and i took another nature walk yesterday. apart from driving my current wildflower obsession these little sojourns are also giving a mighty kick start to the yule season. i think a little nature stroll is in order everyday.

milkmaids

(this is quite close to how the australian bush would have looked pre-colonization, before europeans introduced their pesky invasive grasses and plants. atleast here in victoria)

type of acacia

i don't know it's name yet but it only grows on water's edge

unknown

2010-11-28T19:45:00.003+11:00

it's beginning to look alot like...

...christmas! and summer, in spite of the cool, blustery, stormy days we've had lately.

the boys and i signed ourselves up for a birdwatching walk today, but it was cancelled due to bad weather. we showed up anyways, regardless of the cold and rain. the organizers didn't even make it, the weather was that awful. however, as we are always keen for a nature walk, we went on by ourselves.

we were instantly struck by all the wonderful colors taking shape in the bush right now. there are pinks, reds, purples, yellows, greens, fluffy whites! it's really pretty and it feels, well, down right christmas-y. imagine that!

so, yes it's december and almost summer and it feels like christmas. i never imagined it would, but it does. how could it not?

how are you getting into the spirit of the season?

2010-11-22T12:11:00.002+11:00

resistance is futile

i couldn't help it! it was there, and it asked, begged, enchanted me so i paid notice. i am ever so slowly learning to appreciate the nuances of this landscape, nuances of color, shape, the slow, subtle beauty that moves up and out. it's growing on me.

i, we still love and miss japan terribly, fiercely and we will move back in the next few years, but for now we're loosely rooted and enjoying the colors.

2010-11-18T11:22:00.003+11:00

photos

that's really all i've got today, photos, to fill the space, to make time for me to think. because there's lots of thinking going on here these days. all the collective bodies in this house are pondering the whereto's and whyfor's of a new life taking form just on the horizon. we can see it, a hazy blur in the far off distance, but this time, instead of running arms outstretched, flailing, hellbent on arriving, we're keeping watch, doing the laundry, sitting in silence...just watching, breathing and letting daily life take precedence.

a few posts ago i shared my enthusiasm with you for wildflowers and even talked of a photo project. i've collected many more photos since then, but i've decided to sit on them a while because they are part of that thinking process mentioned above. i have ideas and plans for them and, well, i just want to keep them to myself for a while. my challenge has always been finding a way to get the ball rolling, if you know what i mean. i have great ideas, i always have. i'm the ideas gal, but....i have to figure out how to bring them to fruition.

and there, my good friends, is where i sit. in a place of longing, mild unease and discomfort and anticipation. it's easier than i first imagined.

2010-11-11T14:58:00.002+11:00

boo blogger!

testing testing

i've been away from this space for a while because for some reason blogger wouldn't let me post. i still can't post using the new editor. i've switched to the old one, which i don't like as much, but atleast now i'm posting again.

we've been busy playing, gardening, funning...all the usual spring stuff. the photo below was taken last week at our favorite play spot.

more to follow soon...................

2010-10-24T22:45:00.001+11:00

wildflower walk - the beginning

here are just a few photos from my wildflower walk the other day. let me say next that i am shockingly bad at remembering names of plants. shockingly! so bear with me.

there is only one here that i cannot identify yet. i 'm going to the library tomorrow to look around for a proper aussie native wildflower field guide. i'll see what i can dig up. i haven't got the boys involved with this yet, but i know cannot keep them out of it for too long. i've been going alone partially because i enjoy the "me time", but mostly because using the 100 mm macro takes alot of focus and, urm, muscle control and i find it difficult to manage when i'm alone with the boys. also, i have an idea for a project, sort of a photographic study type project. i'm not yet sure how i will do it or where it will go, or if it will even go anywhere, but i'm eager to try and see what happens.

i went on another walk today and it was just as spectacular or, perhaps even more so, than the one a few days ago. spring! SPRING!

chocolate lily ( because it smells just like chocolate)

tea tree ~swoon~

? (tba)

may your week be filled with unruly wild flowers

2010-10-22T14:00:00.000+11:00

the longing of days

the past few days have been gorgeously springlike, warm, bright, breezy and so so sunny. glorious! i love light, natural light the most, of course, but i just love light. i even love the absence of light, just because it's suggestive of light. so yesterday late afternoon when i was on my way outside to check on the chooks and the rabbit i noticed the calendula and how it glowed, shimmered and quivered with the fierce heat of the waning day sun. i'm sure you can guess what came next. the camera was got and i was belly down on the ground ooohing and aaahing over her gentle glow. she handles herself so well, don't you think?

so did you notice above when i mentioned we have chooks? well, yes, we do. they are grand, but i had no idea how much work 4 (yes!! 4!!) little beasts that size could be. it's great work though and we are loving it and them. they make us laugh, alot! did you know that chickens are hilariously funny, the way they strut and bok bok around the garden? we're smitten.

the boys are off with their father, the chooks are fed and roaming in their run and ferdy the bunny is mellowing in the shade so i am off to the nature reserve down the road. i spied so many lovely native wildflowers yesterday on my run and i want to go say a proper hello to them...with camera in hand of course ;)

all my best,
cyndi

2010-10-21T00:16:00.001+11:00

untitled

with the days growing longer and time moving faster (because there's more daylight and so of course that means hurry! pack more in!) i find myself pulled and pushed and rushed in so many different directions at once....phew! i'm beginning to feel the strain. my cure? my response? grab the camera, go outside, stand for a while, then stroll a bit, feel and look. that's it. it's simple and just another form of meditation for this not-so-zen mama. lately, well, ok always, when i need a quiet moment...for myself...to find myself, my center...to breathe, that's what i do.

here are a few things i've seen during the past week. could this be a bit self-indulgent? perhaps, but it's also a great way to notice and pay homage to the grand beauty everywhere, in the big and the small, in the ordinary and the extraordinary. i like light, color and, well, pretty little things. if i can pass just a little of that joy that decorates my world on to others, well, even better.

chicken wire/twilight

a cold blustery day

borage...

because i never tire of it. it's said to give courage and heart to anyone who eats the flowers or makes tea from the leaves. whatever grows near it is "lifted up", made stronger by it. how can one not admire that kind of unconditional giving?

the crab apple

him, perusing, on a cold wet windy day. he is a trooper.

all my best,

cyndi

2010-10-18T00:19:00.000+11:00

love

"...I felt just like it, brilliant and bleak beyond words."

~Jack Kerouac as Raymond Smith from The Dharma Bums

2010-10-13T18:16:00.000+11:00

it's raining & i can hear birdsong

little by little we've been working on the garden, building up the soil in the beds, rabbit and chicken proofing, planting a few things from seed here and there, tossing a little fish guts and manure on for fertilizer...suddenly last night it began raining and this morning when we went outside we were shocked to see so many seeds sprouting (already) bursting forth from the soil, everything grew overnight practically. we've spent the day marveling at it all and taking lots of photos (that would be me). the boys have been busy walking around inspecting everything with little hands and eyes, ogling all the gorgeous colors that seem to hum and vibrate with the light drizzle of rain, watching raindrops gently settle, rest a while, then sluice there way down to infinity.

i was just about to say how we are looking forward to the coming warmth and buzz of mid spring, but actually, the truth is, we are so happy with right now. hmmph, go figure. this moment, this burst of green and life, well, it's perfect.

parsley getting ready to flower and then go to seed

unidentifiable (for now)

in prayer

2010-10-10T19:50:00.000+11:00

today

there was lots of this...

so much so that he ended the day like...

...this.

no kidding! after i took this photo he said, "i just don't think i can walk, mummy." now that's something that doesn't happen every day.

2010-10-05T21:08:00.000+11:00

so grateful

for this day

and these moments

when we came back from our nature walk and he found this little guy waiting for him next to the car. they said hello and became instant friends.

when i found myself suddenly alone with this tree, these flowers and that light. i sat, seiza style, face to face, palms down on thighs, eyes lowered, a slow small smile. and that's all.

when i looked over and saw that he was in need and so we all gave.

when i pretended to be taking a photo of something in the grass but instead listened in on their conversation which revolved around the grotesque, goobies, snot and poo.

there were countless moments today that made me smile and want to toss my hat into the air and make a grand toast to the ever loving Universe and shout little pearls of laughter shattering the cosmos wide open... so many moments. all of which are now floating gently through the vast expanse of my little anarchic heart.

how about you? what are you grateful for today?

2010-10-04T11:52:00.000+11:00

native

i talk alot about the small nature sanctuary down the road, a place we often end up. it's close and it's a great way to learn more about the native flora and fauna. yesterday was an all day sustainability festival which focused on the vernal comings and goings of the reserve. some really wonderfully knowledgeable people volunteered their entire sunday to pass on a bit of their wisdom of and passion for the preservation of native australian species of plants, amphibians, reptiles, mammals...many species of natives have already disappeared and yet still there are so many that are endangered and so close to leaving this planet forever. this ancient land and so many of its native inhabitants are in such peril, it's heartbreaking really. but when i saw my little ones absorbing what everyone had to offer yesterday, their wisdom, passion and hope, i began to feel reassured that we were putting the planet in good hands. in small, but loving hands.

kangaroo grass

the native australians use/d it to make damper. the seeds are dried and then crushed to make meal. the leaves and stems were used to make fishing nets and twine.

this is a native grass called liopose, i think. i'm not sure why yet, but i feel very strongly attracted to this plant. i love the way it collects and holds light. i suppose it's appropriate then that it was/is used by australian aboriginals to weave baskets and containers. that green is exquisite. i just recently acquired several handfuls of it from someone on freecycle to put in our garden.

more kangaroo grass. can you see why it's called such?

both of my boys were really impressed by what they learned yesterday, but, i suppose because he's older and a bit more "aware", j was especially touched. he was quite saddened to learn of the desperate situation most native amphibian species are facing, but i think in the end he felt motivated to do something. we're starting small for the time being by rethinking (and remodeling) our frog pond. we learned yesterday that it needs to be bigger and a bit deeper. it doesn't have to be terribly complicated because really all we're doing is providing a breeding ground, not a permanent residence.

the day ended with a twilight nature walk. we saw a few possums (ringtail & bushytail), loads of kookaburras and yes!, we heard a few frogs. it was lovely. when we got home all was dark and quiet outside the house. the boys ran shouting up to the door and turned on the outside light as i was walking up to the porch. i stopped, was fumbling around for my keys, when something on the fence next to my head caught my eye. it was a small ringtail possum, staring right at me, trying not to be noticed with it's big eyes popping straight out at me. it was really cool. it's such a small thing. and then again it's grandiose, beyond measure. this is how close we are to the wildlife, to the wild life. it's all around all the time. it was so close my small child reached out his hand and almost touched it. that is something, isn't it?

2010-10-01T08:47:00.000+10:00

where the snow peas used to grow

garden. twilight.

2010-09-27T13:00:00.000+10:00

he's 5!

a few years ago i started writing a poem for e. last week i thought it would be a good idea to share it here in this space, but now i'm having second thoughts. i'm incredibly insecure about sharing my poems and writing in general and as this poem is unfinished (for now), i feel even more shy about sharing it. i'm going to anyway because it's for him. someday i'll present the poem (in a finished form....well maybe) in his book that i've been keeping for him, that i keep for both the boys.

as i said it's an unedited, unfinished, work in progress. which i suppose is very fitting as we are all unfinished, works in progress, beautiful little misfits. yes, we are.

dear e

soulboy with a cocoa stained smile,

little blackbird wings

spreading under your nose,

arcing across your cheeks,

taking flight.

your eyes are so deep,

sweet and fierce

it almost hurts to look into them,

they know so much.

i only have a glint of knowing

why you've come to me

this time around.

perhaps you're the alchemist-shaman in my dreams

with your small leather

medicine pouch

full of potions.

whipping up elixirs of love, mud pies

and laughter.

or maybe you are the

dark caped rider on

horseback, snatching me up

from my own

ferocity and doom

rescuing me from myself

yet again.

how many times have you

done this before,

i wonder?

could it be that you are like the serpent who arrives suddenly,

slipping through shallow water

spelling out love for me in the form of

AMALGAM.....

"mama, this is how ravage goes to sleep."

i may not know why he's come to me, but i have a feeling he does. so i try to stay out of his way and let him work his magic.

happy birthday, beautiful boy, and may there be many happy returns of the day.

2010-09-20T22:12:00.003+10:00

a few surprises

a few weeks ago i celebrated my birthday, number 41, thank you very much! it went by very quietly because i was the only one not sick with the flu and so i was busy nursing my 3 guys. they celebrated me in their own sweet way, as they always do, and so i enjoyed my special day.

but today my present arrived. oh did it ever arrive!! another reason my actual birthday was a bit quiet, we knew the present wouldn't arrive until later. wanna know what i got? are you bursting with anticipation? hmmmmm? well, since you asked. i got a brand spanking new 100mm macro lens. ~swooooon~

i'm in love! it'll take me a while to get the hang of it, but i'm willing to practice and be patient ;) here are a couple of photos i took this afternoon...like 2 seconds after it arrived. it was windy and i simply could not be bothered going back inside for the tripod so both photos are a bit blurry, but to be honest i kinda like it that way. i suspect you already knew that about me though, didn'tcha?

calendula

this week we are preparing for the littlest's birthday, our baby e. he'll be 5 on saturday and we're all very excited. today he, his brother and his father worked very hard on their costumes for the "big" party. he's decided on a transformers theme, by the way, but more on that later. he wants it all to be very hush and hush with lots of surprises for his guests. and i bet you thought i'd go on and on about how my baby is growing up...etc etc. no, not yet :) there is time for that later. for now i'm in the mood to savour his 4-ness just a few days more, you know, without letting the 5 in him take front and center just yet ;)

lavender

and so i have one more surprise i'd like to share with you. i'm rather excited about it, but first, i have to say here that it is because of Tara over at The Organic Sister that i made the decision to do this. a few weeks ago she wrote a post about how she came to the decision to exhibit and sell her photography online. i was inspired and thought it very brave that inspite of her reservations, she did it! thank you, Tara, for having the courage to share that incredibly personal inner process. so yes, here is my Redbubble page listing a few of my photos for sale. i'll be adding more in the coming weeks. do feel free to pop over and have a look. i've also put a link in my sidebar under the photography & art header?

now, i've a birthday party to continue planning...

2010-09-17T22:12:00.001+10:00

one fact about me

the knees of every pair of pants i own are almost always stained with either grass or mud or both. true fact.

why?

because i really like the view from down there, from the mud and the dew drenched grass. looking over the leaf litter means i see so many treasures that i wouldn't ordinarily. and looking up? well, the sky's the limit. i'm comfortable down there.

last night my dreams were filled with fire, smoke and death. my death to be sure. when i woke i knew it would be a challenging day so i vowed i'd take it one moment at a time. that's all i had to do. a moment...cleaning a dirty nose. another moment...reading a favorite book. the moment after that...slowly defusing a 7 year old time bomb...tending to one moment and then the next.

it worked. because here i am. half dead, but mostly alive.

later, after many hard won moments, i was finally able to take some time for myself so i grabbed my camera bag and headed out the door to one of my favorite spots. as i walked among the trees, i was blessed by all of natures gifts, death, rot, renewal, decay, rebirth, life. it was all right there in front of me, at my feet and literally in my face. i am all of this. i am not of it. and i am ok.

2010-09-09T13:16:00.000+10:00